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Thursday, March 11, 2010

We thought it was over!

Last week was rough to say the least! On Monday, I called my insurance company to get the information we needed to start IVF. I knew it was going to be quite expensive, but I also knew that my insurance covers four rounds. I was optimistic until they hit me with the reality. They do cover four rounds of IVF; however, they only cover up to $10,000 per lifetime for any infertility treatments. We have already used $3200 of this. I had no idea. My IVF cycle will cost $14,000. Insurance will only pay about $6800. Medications are going to cost anywhere between $3, 000 and $4,000. This does not include the cost of anesthesia. Therefore, we would be looking at paying out of pocket $12,200. There is no way we can do that.

We have had such a rough couple of years. I was terminated from a job because I had a second miscarriage, even though I only missed two days. Therefore, we had to make up for that income for the two months I was unemployed by using credit cards. The day before I was to start my new job, our pride and joy, Casey aka, our dog, broke his back. We rushed him to emergency care and they had to do surgery right then and there. Now, I know many people would have put their animal down, but that was not an option for us. Casey is our first-born. He as saved my life in many ways. There is no way I was about to put him down when I knew he was only three years old and was going to be able to recover. It may take a year or more, but he would recover, and he is doing much better.

After spending two days sobbing and starting the process of grieving the fact that we will never have children, I call the receptionist at my RE's office. She tells me that amount does not sound correct. She asks that I give her one day to verify this. I told her ok, but if it is correct, I need a copy of my file ASAP! She said she understood and told me to call back the next day.

I called back the next day and got the surprise of a lifetime! She told me that my insurance covers about $7200 for the procedure. The Dr. then requires us to pay 20% of the balance, and he takes a hit for the rest! Therefore, the procedure plus the anesthetic will cost around $1900. However, that still does not cover the medications. When I mentioned this to the receptionist, she got quiet and said, "You did not hear this from me. When you go in for your nurse consult, ask them about donated meds." She said that was all she could tell me. I had read on the web that there are clinics that do take meds from couples that did not have to use them for whatever reason, and will give them to couples who cannot afford them. However, it is illegal in some states. I have no idea what the rule is in the state I live in, nor do I care.

I have learned that at this point in our journey of TTC, I will do whatever I have to do succeed. If that means using donated meds illegally, so be it! Some may gasp at this, but those who do have never felt the desperation of not being able to have a child. Some who have gone through infertility would probably gasp as well. If you are one of those people, you have the right to your opinion, but I do not care. We want a child more than anything and we will do whatever it takes short of doing something that will put us in prison.

That being said, we still have to find a way to come up with the rest of the funds. My mom has graciously offered to help us as much as she can and my mother-in- law said she would help as well. However, that does leave us short. I start my Lupron injections on 3-23 and have to have all of the money by that date. I have done some research because a interesting thought came to mind. I thought why not ask for donations? I would never have thought this would be something I would do. At first, I felt selfish. Perhaps god does not want me to have children. I do not feel that is the case. People ask for donations for many different issues. Cancer patients, medical bills, fancy vacations. Why not IVF? I know there is one documented couple that received the rights of being the "First" to fundraise for IVF. They received thousands of dollars from total strangers just by sharing their storey. Some may feel this is manipulating the system, some may think it is unethical. If you will give money to a basketball fundraiser, why not give money to us so we can have a little basket ball player?

We will be setting up a pay pal account on our website (We have currently taken it off the web to update it) We will share our story and let people know that they are welcome to donate to our cause. If this works for us, I am planning on setting up a non-profit to help other couples fund their infertility treatment. We donate for cancer, HIV, clean water the list goes on and on. Infertility is a disease, which encompasses many other diseases with it. We deserve the treatment and we deserve to be able to afford it.


  1. I've thought about asking for donations too but never have. I'm glad you got good news about your insurance though. We went through a similar situation about a month ago - told we had coverage ($12,500 lifetime max) then told we didn't then told we did and it was just up and down. Finally got the news that WE DO. Phew. Big relief!!

    You mentioned possibly starting a non-profit to help with others fund IF treatments. Have you researched this venture yet? I actually run a (non-If related) non-profit and it's not easy to start one up. In fact, it can take a year or more and costs a lot of money to get set up. You also need organization including a board of directors, Articles of Incorporation and by laws (just to mention a few). There's another nonprofit being started to help IFers with the costs of treatment. You might want to get involved with her program and help out that way rather than reinventing the wheel and doubling what she's already doing over there. It's called the Lost Stork Foundation and you can visit her website here:

    I hope I'm not overstepping here by telling you all this, I just thought I'd share since I know what's involved in setting one up :)

  2. PS: You DO deserve to have a family and I don't see anything wrong with using (illegally) donated meds. I may have to do the same thing if my RE's current plan doesn't work.

  3. Thanks for the post! You are not stepping on any toes. I have researched everyting and know it can take a very long time and cost a lot of money. I will check out the link though!