It's been a long time!

I feel bad. I have neglected my blog and blog friends. I have not forgotten any of you and did continue to read your blogs. I had to stop writing for awhile. I needed to focus on protecting myself and my babies. I had a horribly difficult high risk pregnancy. Here is my gestational story:

The last time I wrote, I was still dealing with heavy vomiting in the first trimester. I lost 15 lbs. At 14 weeks I started to finally feel like myself again. At 16 weeks we were hit head on by an SUV. I was driving and my stomach hit the steering wheel. After a very scary ambulance ride and long afternoon in the ER, everything turned out OK. Three days later, I found out I had gestational diabetes.

All of this before I was even 20 weeks pregnant. I often thought that since we had such a hard time getting pregnant and staying pregnant, that once we hit the second trimester we would get a break. We never did!

At 18 weeks I was placed on complete bed rest. My cervix was funneling. I thought, okay, I can do bed rest. And I did. I followed every Dr.'s orders! I thought I was doing great. Until I went in for my 22 week check up. My ob sent me straight to the hospital. I was one centimeter dilated.

The scares never went away. I had an emergency cerclage put into place and spent a week in the hospital. An hour after the surgery I noticed my gown was wet. The nurses and doctors immediately rushed into my room to check me. They thought my water had broken. At 22 weeks if a woman's water breaks, you deliver a baby. In my case, twins. The twins would not survive. They informed me that if my water did break, at 22 weeks the would not be able to assist the babies in anyway. Luckily it was not my water! I was still completely numb from the spinal and could not feel my bladder. I had simply wet the bed. I have never been so excited to wet myself!

After spending four days in the hospital, I went home on bed rest again. A week later I went back to be checked. No change. Two weeks later, no change. Three weeks later, no change. The cerclage was holding. I finally started to feel relief. I will say that being on bed rest for months at a time does make one go crazy. But I would do anything to keep these babies. I was not going to lose anymore children!

So, my days came and went. The belly got bigger and bigger. Everything was going well. Until week 32. Ten weeks later and I am back in the hospital. I was 2 centimeters dilated with a cerglage sewn into my cervix. It was not holding any longer. I am rushed to labor and deliver. An hour goes by until I see the OB on call. When he checks me, I am three centimeters dilated. I thought "this is it, I am going to deliver these babies today." I was admitted once again to the high risk OB floor.

I was not having any contractions. The babies heartbeats were great. So, there I was, on hospital bed rest. I was told I was not going home anytime soon. I spent two weeks in the hospital this time. Only able to get up to use the bathroom and to take a five minute shower. These were some of the loneliest hours of my life. My blessed husband visited me every day after work and spent the night with me on the weekends. I never would have gotten through this experience without him!

When I reached 34 weeks, the doctors felt that it was safe for me to go back home to bed rest since the babies would be able to survive if born anytime now. I would have to come back every week until they were born to make sure everything was still going okay. One week after being discharged from the hospital, I go to my check up. Guess what happens...Yep, admitted again. This time for pre eclampsia! No joke! This pregnancy can get worse after all. I begged them to let me go home. They said no. I begged them to take the twins, they said no. I was almost 35 weeks. The twins would likely have to spend a few days in the NICU. But I had reached my limit. I was done. I wanted them out, I wanted this agony, this horrendous pain to be over with. They said no. They wanted to monitor me and if my protein levels got worse we would talk about a c-section.

After two days in the hospital my protein levels did go up slightly and my blood pressure was rising as well. Finally one of the high risk OB's decided it was time. His rationale was why are we waiting for me to continue to get sicker. I had to agree! December 8, 2010 was going to be the day!

To be continued....